Dear Canadian friends,

You know I love all of you and you know how much I love and revere your fine country. However, not all of your countrymen are cool or friend worthy. In fact, some Canadians are insufferable asswipes.

• Those Canadians who claim to be morally superior to us here in the USA, asswipes.
• Canadians who think they are clever and funny by comparing the people of Quebec to us here in the USA to illustrate how dumb we all are, asswipes.
• Canadians who constantly and persistently try to chat me up on Facebook, even after I tell them I do not want to chat, asswipes.
• Canadians who refuse to acknowledge that they too are Americans by virtue of the fact that they live on the American continent, asswipes.

Unlike the Canadian jerk who I just blocked on Facebook, I won't judge all of you fine people by one by example. Well, two if I include your insipid Prime Minister.

I still love you all and I love your fine country. And one day if the shit keeps rising like it is here in the USA, I may just move north to live with you. However, I'll be sure to stay the hell away from that idiot Bruce Hallet. And Stephen Harper.

Sincerely,
Dr. Monkey